Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Every Part Of Me

I know most of the world thinks "Hannah Montana" is full of crap, but right now, I love her more than for a few laughs from the Disney Channel on a low evening. I feel really connected to her song called "Every Part Of Me". I've been though a lot of things that have made me stronger, and given me everything I wanted... but now I'm not sure where I stand. I really need to take some time and think through the big decisions I have ahead. And the ones I've made... were they the right ones? I've changed a lot since last May... a lot. Now, I wonder ... where do I fit? Can I still be every part of me? And the people I met since that change, I owe you an apology... I must seem like a crazy person.

LYRICS:

I feel like I'm a million miles away
From my self more and more these days
I've been down so many open roads
But they never lead me home
And now I just don't know

Who I really am,
How it's gonna be,
Is there something that I can't see?
I wanna understand

Maybe I will never be who I was before
Maybe I don't even know her anymore
Maybe who I am today ain't so far from yesterday
And I find a way to be
Every part of me

So I'll try
Try to slow things down
And find myself
Get my feet back on the ground
It'll take time, but i know I'll be alright
'Cause nothing much has changed on the inside

It's hard to figure out
How it's gonna be
'Cause I don't really know now
I wanna understand

Maybe I will never be who I was before
Maybe I don't even know her anymore
Maybe who I am today ain't so far from yesterday
And I find a way to be every part of me

I don't wanna wait too long
To find out where I'm meant to belong
I've always wanted to be where i am today
But I never thought I'd feel this way

Maybe I will never be who I was before
Maybe I don't even know her anymore
Maybe who I am today ain't so far from yesterday
And I find a way to be every part of me

Every part of me.

Sunday, October 25, 2009

Etching the Dance

There is this printmaking technique that has a really fuzzy line quality... its called hard ground line etching. This process has a graphic effect and always puts things in high contrast. It is a very difficult technique to master.

I spent 14 logged hours this past week working on hard ground line etching outside of class. In class I am determined to complete the carbon wash process, and I am only supposed to do carbon wash under instructor supervision. Me + harmful chemicals = WHOA! Anyway, the hard ground line etching allows you to scrape away metal and print from the metal surface.

Now, I have chosen dance as my topic in art and out of art. I have been focusing a lot on two dance moves in particular that I have captured in photos before. My goal is to be able to duplicate them with my body and on paper. What I didn't know about etching is that it doesn't like to show movement; if you screw up, you have to work with the metal and create something else. Metal is a stubborn matter. You have to teach yourself to be aggressive with the tools, regardless if your subject is something beautiful, and calm. For the first time, I have accepted that my art has become a little abstract; it is hard to avoid with this medium. Carbon wash is more fluid and beautiful... graceful... like dance. Etching, not so much, but I am pleased to say that I have mastered etching, and I like what I have done. Part of why I enjoy the etching is because I am given more time to mix my colors of ink and determine in what way I will touch the plate. Even fingerprints will show up in a print and if you left the full rolled ink on the surface, it would bleed and the subject wouldn't show up. So every time your hand, covered or uncovered, touches the metal, something will change. And that scared me.... but after making the print above, I conquered that fear and made 3 metal plates, and approx. 20 prints in many colors and sizes. Trying something new is always good for you.

Now if only I could master the dance moves with my body. That may take a little more practice :)

Enjoy your day,
-R


Better than Cable TV

Everyone has a favorite Tv show... now imagine your favorite episode. What I am about to tell you, is better than that episode.

I was walking home and I saw a drunk couple walking back toward the GK. The girl asked for a piggy back ride, and the guy said sure. She gets on his back... takes about two steps... and face plants into the cement. His knees didn't even buckle! The girl rolls over into a mud puddle and is laughing hysterically about going back to the bar. The guy sits up and hits his head on the pole of a stop sign before he can ask if she is okay! They both got up and started walking back to The Dublin instead of going to the GK and sleeping it off ... oh my. This campus is full of drunkards, and it can be so amusing. Even the simplest walk back from Walgreens can leave you laughing.

I'm sure tonight will be the exact same thing... HA HA!

I gotta get back to work. I have a book deadline to meet. I just really wanted to tell somebody about this fun occurrence.
-R

Saturday, October 24, 2009

Super Dedicated Saturday

This morning I was up at 6 am running around the Drake campus. I didn't eat, drink... heck, I forgot socks! I just kept moving... it was too early and I had to focus. I was determined.

Today, I wanted to say I put in my best to meet my goals academically and personally. Yes, I know it is a Saturday, but that is no excuse to let yourself go. I've never been able to put in 110% at anything. I haven't laughed this much EVER! And I'm actually proud of myself and thankful for my coach here in Des Moines. He helped me write up a schedule of activities that will strengthen my ankles, my back, and my core. He helped me plan some other fun activities I could to with friends that, in a way, give me an additional workout. Finally, he helped me organize time - a written schedule- when I can have free time and when I will do homework or studio hours. I am so thankful for my dance coach... I am finally in control of my life. Heck, he went from dance coach to life coach in like five seconds... even though it only was a ten minute conversation :)

One very big problem: Now that I have time planned to have a social life outside of partying, people think I'm full of B.S. No one here believes in me. None of my peers think that the changes I have made in my life are positive. And their negativity is rubbing off on me. I'm turning into a sarcastic bitch... yes, I said it. That is the one unacceptable negative that has filled the gap that used to be called friendship here on the Des Moines campus. I am now on my own.

I have hours planned for social outings that no longer are happening. (I can't wait to get my butt out of here)...

ONE VERY BIG POSITIVE:
I HAVE TIME TO GIVE 110% TO DANCE AND ART!
and because no one cares about anything I do, I have nothing to loose.

I had three hours of dancing today. My shoes are finally starting to break in. My confidence is even high enough to consider practicing arm styling!

So, today, I decided to be dedicated.... Even if it is a Saturday :)

Never give up.

Friday, October 23, 2009

Dance Dance Dance!

Those that know me, know that I haven't had it so easy. I gave up dancing, then musicals, then acting, then music all together, but somehow found art. Once I found art, I found myself. Slowly, I've been earning back the lost time and was accepted into the women's choir that works with the Des Moines Symphony, I started playing piano on campus, and now, thanks to my mom's push and shove, I am dancing again. And dancing, has been keeping me a lot healthier. I haven't had a "weak day" in over a month! Being healthy makes me happy. Heck, my entire being is stronger. And my stronger self took a really big risk around 8:30 pm that I think you all should know about!

(Warning: I am a little tired, so this may start to sound a little silly about half way through the blog. Yes, you have been warned.)

Last night, I went to a dance workshop downtown... in the rain... and yes, I walked 5 blocks into the ghetto of Iowa (without an umbrella), and took the sketchy bus all the way there!!! If that doesn't show my determination and confidence, I don't know what would! That bus is one... scary.... bus! [Kids, DON'T go on the bus by yourself unless you can strike up conversations with the homeless or smart mouth back at gangsters like I can :) Bring a friend... or pepper-spray. ]

Anyway, this dance workshop was held outside. I left my things in the dry studio, and danced in the cold downpour for about 2 hours near their parking lot. Apparently, the rain makes it harder to keep your shoulders relaxed... as though that isn't hard enough *laugh*. For some reason, I have to be totally tense when I start dancing! What the heck!?! The rain also makes you rely on other senses besides your sight. It wasn't about your partner or perfection, it was self-expression. It started as ballroom dancing, and transformed into a circle of hip-hop in the second hour. Then I took a proper lesson at 10:30 pm (with a new friend I met in that parking lot) instead of going to the club with everyone else from the workshop! I didn't get back to campus until midnight. Guess who had a big pile of homework and a lovely 8 am Psychology Lab this morning... I can say that even though I am running on 3 hours of sleep I would go dance like that again in a heartbeat.

Now, if you are not convinced that meeting random people and dancing until all hours of the night is fun... then lets see what the doctors have to say!

I did a little google search... well actually, a really big google search... and found that:

To help stay healthy the government recommends that everyone take part in 30 minutes of moderate intensity physical activity five times a week. That's activity that gets you breathing faster, increases your heart rate. You don't have to be pouring with sweat and panting - you should be able to keep it up for half an hour. And the good news is that dancing counts. *and the crowd goes wild!*

Most dance styles, even a stately waltz, are the activity equivalent of at least a moderate (3mph) walk. Anyone who Highland flings or ballroom dances themselves around a room will up their heart rate quickly. Regular dancing will reduce the risk of cardiovascular disease, high blood pressure, type 2 diabetes and cancer. Oh and BONUS POINTS: you'll enjoy yourself so much you'll forget you're exercising!

Regular dancing will also help keep you trim. Avoiding weight gain can become harder as we get older, because ageing is associated with a loss in muscle mass and an increase in body fat.... and don't forget those fun little face wrinkles that everyone worries about these days :) But as you shimmy across the floor, you'll be burning calories: in a half-hour dance session, an average 60kg/approx. 132 lb person will burn at least 99 calories. Of course this varies - you'll burn more with a lively Latino-style because you're moving more.

Dancing helps to reduce the risk of osteoporosis because the steps put a strain on your bones, helping them to stay strong and dense. The more dense your bones are, the longer your bones will remain strong and less likely to fracture if you should fall. Other skills you'll develop as you learn to glide elegantly across the dance floor - poise and grace - encourage coordination, balance and muscle strength.

*laugh* I am nowhere near graceful! I can't help but chuckle at the thought of how long it will take for me to become graceful... I'm sure it will come a lot quicker to all of you. Actually, you are already more graceful because this morning I ran into a glass door! Has anyone seen the Windex commercial?! :)

Moving on... these skills are particularly important in later life as it helps to reduce the risk of falling, allowing people to maintain their mobility and independent living. For example... Even if I got that special "old people" Sunset Living bus to run over a certain someone that teaches me to ballroom dance, all the way over in the Chicago land area, he will still manage to survive and live independently... he may be a tad fragile after the incident, but he will remain mobile. Yes, he will heal and dance another day! * HALLELUJAH! HE HAS RISEN* Maybe dance will even help his bones heal faster! *laugh* - WOOHOO! :)

(Can you hear the slap happy in my voice... just wait until I get to the art store. I'll be there at 1:30 pm. I may even be more interesting than cable television! Gee Willikers! )

ONLY TWO PARAGRAPHS OF FUN FACTS TO GO!!!

A regular Cha - Cha or tango will help to keep your mind active as well as your body. Exercise improves circulation and helps prevent oxygen starvation to the brain, and remembering complex steps stimulates the working memory. In fact, research suggests that ballroom dancing reduces the risk of developing Alzheimer's disease or dementia. (If you do develop either disease, I hear sunset living is a very nice facility...) Not only can exercise slow mental decline, but it may actually enhance brain power. And there's some evidence that listening to music while you exercise stimulates mental functioning more than silent activities. So regular dancing might even help you impress your chess mates or solve those trickier crossword clues... heck, even sudoku! *cough* - Matt - *cough*

Depending on the style you choose, a dance class can be a pleasant trip down memory lane (the 90s are a particular favorite) , or a stimulating voyage into new musical realms. Yes, I said it! MUSICAL REALMS! Exercising can lift your mood and reduce the risk of depression. Don't overlook the feel-good factor of a foxtrot. It is important to find something you enjoy, and that you can see and feel your improvement... that with practice, can give your confidence an enormous boost.

I LIED ... ONE MORE! MUST... ADVERTISE!!! *laugh*

Another good reason why dance benefits the brain - social life. Of course there is nothing to stop you from cranking up the tunes and swinging round your living room whenever the fancy takes you, but dancing tends to be a shared pursuit. (Yes, we have to play nice at dance time kids! Sharing is caring... IT WILL BE FUN!) Spending time with good friends can stimulate the mind and protect against mental decline. Being part of a group, team or community is one of the keys to a happy life, bringing emotional support and a sense of purpose. To get the most out of social dancing, go for regular group classes aimed at your level of ability, where you'll meet up with the same like-minded dancers each week.

SO SIGN UP TODAY.... I recommend the Fred Astaire Dance Studios and the Des Moines Ballroom ... but I am sure there are many other studios in your local range as well.

I hope this long.... long.... Really flipping long ... blog has convinced you that dancing is fun and healthy. Dance is saving my life one step at a time... at least, I think that's what its doing. The doctors are way smarter than the sleep deprived fine arts college student; Hence, the research.

Okay... well... I have to catch my bus and get to the art store and the hardware store, get all of my art supplies, and be back by 3 so that I can help cook dinner at the Homeless Shelter tonight!
Which means, I-am-going-to-rush-out-of-my-room-right-now! <3
-R


Thursday, October 22, 2009

My newfound love for... the LIBRARY!

Last night, a friend of mine wanted company at the library. I, the fine arts student with reading troubles, does not like the library. Somehow, I got guilt tripped into going to the library and to my surprise, my friend has found the section with books on the Italian Renaissance. That is one dangerous library section for a person like me to find. I checked out six books! Me... six books.

So that bad habit of reading all of the signs in the FADS dance studio will probably end by Thanksgiving. I have so much else to read with historic content that I might lose interest in the signs when I am dancing. If all else fails, read before you go dance!!! What a concept *smile*

Anyway, I wanted to share a poem that I translated into English that was written by Michelangelo. Yes, I found a book of his poetry and letters. My heart melted. I was up until 2 am. reading. Its like all of those old women that watch Lifetime TV shows like "Desperate Housewives". They cry and get so into what they are watching... thats how I get around Michelango and Leonardo Da Vinci drawings and writings. If I could choose to resurrect anyone from the dead... I would pick one of those artists - or Shakespeare. Many would say Jesus... I say artist! Haha! Well here's one of those poems I was talking about:


I' ho gia fatto un gozzo in questo stento,*

This comes of dangling from the ceiling -
I'm goitered like a Lombard cat*
(or wherever else their throats grow fat) -
it's my belly that's beyond concealing,
it hangs beneath my chin like peeling.
My beard points skyward, I seem a bat
upon its back, I've breasts and splat!
On my face the paint's congealing.

Loins concertina'd in my gut
I drop an arse as counterweight
and move without the help of eyes.
Like a skinned martyr I abut
on air, and, wrinkled, show my fate.
Bow-like, I strain toward the skies.

No wonder then I size
things crookedly; I'm on all fours.
Bent blowpipes send their darts off-course.

Defend my labour's cause,
good Giovanni, from all strictures:
I live in hell and paint its pictures.

(Girardi, 5, 1509-10)

Wow... can you say wow! WOW! Doesn't that just make you pause and think... To live in hell and paint its pictures. I love that phrase. As an artist, I can relate to this poem. I work so hard, and it is left unappreciated. People don't take time to understand what a person must give up to be an artist. Sometimes it really does feel like this world is a hell and I am just here painting its pictures. Michelangelo never ceases to amaze me.

Okie dox... I have a psychology class in five minutes, so I'm gonna run.
Enjoy the rain today, and don't forget to go puddle jumping by GK! BIG BIG ...
Really big puddles!

Will write soon,
-R